Hi Mr_凡先生, my name is Valentina, i’m italian and i’m your biggest fan.
I write in English because i don’t know very well the Chinese and Korean.
I would like to write just one chapter of my life, where i had some tough times and it’s thanks to your music that i go on with my life.
凡先生, before i write this, i tell you that I would be very happy if you read at least this stupid message, at least one reading.
It all started on january 23, 2012: my first cut.
It happened in the classroom, in front of my classmates. I did it because i was depressed, i could not stand any more, people teased me and my father began to beat me.
From there I started to slit my wrists and it also happened on Christmas Eve, i did it again for my father’s fault and there lay my blood on a photo of my favorite singer, Lady Gaga. I felt empty inside me, as if something was missing.
In may 2013, before taking the exams to pass the art school, i cut myself on my legs. My father beat me and so strong, i didn’t even have the strength to study as much as i was afraid of him. It was a bad afternoon, my mother tried to help me even though it was busy with work… I felt a great human shit!
In mid- february, i wanted to end my life, an end to everything, but i didn’t it because i was too afraid. A friend of mine told me that it is already so much that i’m still alive, does not want me to do bad things and is afraid of losing me. Only you know how much i love you, but you can’t even know it because you’re away and not even know me!
My parents don’t know that I cut myself, don’t know that i suffer, don’t know that i’m afraid, don’t know that always cry, away from their eyes, but i think my mother has understood it….
I’m always out of the house because i hate my father, not stand it anymore and sometimes i don’t want to see him.
I think you would know that you have a fan that always cries, cut the veins and that still far away from his parents, but at least you feel safe.
The only way i can contact you is Weibo, i need your help. I don’t know what else to do, i’m afraid to leave, i’m afraid of not being able to tell you what I feel for you, what you are for me, i’m afraid to leave everything and to put an end, but a part of me does not want to it.
I promised two of my friends that i would not have done anything weird and i’m keeping this promise with my heart in my hand, i’m trying in every way not to fall as i did once before .
谢谢你，如果你读此消息 或回答我。Indeed, i’m also happy if you read only.
I feel like a failure I have no one to want me really well.
by Valentina, from Italy.